Poetic evolution

I don’t normally keep the drafts of my writing. Writing in a digital document means that usually I simply revise the text as I go along, re-reading and rewriting until I am happy with it. This has its disadvantages as once the original writing is gone then it cannot easily be recalled for reconsideration, or at least I cannot do that, but also the advantage that I don’t cling onto ideas or phrases that I discard. However, several months back I wrote the poem, More Dementor than Black Dog and I did keep the initial three drafts of my work.  

I would be interested to hear how other writers draft and redraft, in advance of any editing by a reviewer, especially in the digital age.


Draft #1

More like a Dementor than a Black Dog

Winston wrote of his Black Dog
How it would creep up on him
If he wasn’t busy creating; painting, writing, or laying bricks.
I think of a large lumbering Labrador but perhaps it was more,
To him perhaps akin to the Black Dog of folklore.

J.K gets much closer.
Her metaphor, more tragic
An encompassing weight that drops unannounced
In its cloak it clings like it needs to be fed
Music can work charms, although you have to choose wisely
For Dementors can feed on this too
And cause a spiral of despair.

Time to take Winnie’s advice
And get out the camera…


Draft #2

More like a Dementor than a Black Dog

Winnie’s black dog
would creep up on him
on moments of stillness.
No lumbering Labrador
but a silent lupine,
like the Black Dog of old lore
Cerebral creations:
painting, writing,
or laying bricks
would keep the beast at bay
when he sensed it nearby

J.K gets much closer.
A fearful vision,
of a hollow cloak
settling quietly
like a lead weight on your shoulders,
clinging, with a need to be fed
Music can work charms,
but choose your spell wisely
for Dementors can feed on this too
and cause a spiral of despair.

Time to take Winnie’s advice
And take out a pen…


Draft #3

More Dementor than a Black Dog

Winnie’s black dog
crept upon him
during moments of stillness.
No lumbering Labrador,
this stealthy lupine,
like the Black Dog of old lore
Cerebral defense:
painting, writing,
or laying bricks
would keep the beast at bay
at least for a time.

J.K gets much closer.
An apparition,
a billowing cloak
that settles quietly
becomes lead weight on your shoulders,
clinging, with a cry to be fed.
Music works for a spell
but choose your charms wisely.
For Dementors may feed on these too
to cause a spiral of despair.

Time to take Winnie’s advice
And take out a pen…


Please Click Here for the Final Version

Missing the Point

On Friday we went to see the original line up of Culture Club who are currently on their US tour and were visiting The Electric Factory in Philadelphia. The venue was new to us and we were very pleased with the fact that it was general admission standing only, just like my old student days back in London in the 1980s. With beer in hand we were fairly near the front and the gig was excellent. Boy George interacted really well with the audience and it really felt like an intimate “club gig”.

One thing that really pissed me off though was the huge overuse of cellphones during the gig. Not only did they cast a lot of light back to the audience but some idiots even used their flashed (totally pointless) not only for photos but also when video recording. Quite why anyone would go to a gig, especially one where you are so close to the stage, and then watch the whole show through their 5” phone screen is totally beyond my understanding. I am beginning to think that modern audiences are getting even more mindless. They may as well have stayed at home. Just to my left there were 5 or 6 of these clowns, as you can see. I am pretty sure that a couple of them filmed every song that was song and so therefore didn’t look directly at the stage even once during the performance.

160911_missingthepoint

I guess we’re slowly sinking into the abyss of not even wanting to experience reality when we can. How ironic it is that theses guys are missing the whole point of a “live” gig while concentrating on streaming it to Facebook.

~Richard

How soon they grow up to fly the nest

Although it’s a few years away until my children will truly “fly the nest” today was the day when my youngest daughter literally flew away from me. She joined 31st Wing Civil Air Patrol earlier this year and today was her chance for her orientation flight. After an initial briefing by her instructor and a detailed walk around the Cessna 172P for pre-flight checks, the mist had finally lifted and she was ready to leave the ground. It was quite nerve wracking watching her taxi out and fly away, and I know the feeling too, as both I and my wife have flown single-engine planes when we were students a long time ago. In fact, as I told her on the way home, she’s the third generation of our family to do this as my father was in the Air Cadets in the UK as a teenager and also flew small planes.

When she landed she had a smile as wide as the Cheshire Cat’s from Alice in Wonderland. She had basic instruction and flew the plane for a while on her 45 minutes in the air. And at 14, she has now flown a plane in advance of sitting behind the wheel of a car.

I think she’s hooked!

160910_cap_dad

~Richard

52 week Challenge: Week 34

WEEK 34: Portrait: Child – Candid or posed, capture an image of a child. Try getting down on their level for a unique perspective.

OK I’m cheating on this one a bit, but there is a reason why. At my age I don’t have any friends with young children and I am surely not going to start poking around a school or someplace trying to get a picture of a child. I value my liberty too much for that. My daughters will always be my children and as two of them are still under 18 that means they are children, at least in the legal sense. So, here goes:

160907_52wk34_portraitchild

~Richard

52 Week Challenge: Week 35

WEEK 35: Landscape: Nature up Close – Get up close and personal with nature in this natural beauty shot. Flowers, bees, bugs and spiders might all make great shots

One of the easier challenges, in my opinion. I have recent shots of a dragonfly or fungi that I could use but in the end I was persuaded by a friend to use the autumnal one below as it seems pertinent with the leaves starting to fall from the trees around us.

How short summer seems to have been…

160907_52wk35_natureupclose

(Oh, and yes, for those of you who have noticed, I have skipped week 34 temporarily. I’ll come back to it as soon as I can.)

~Richard

52 Week Challenge: Week 33

WEEK 33: Artistic: Collaboration – Doesn’t matter what you shoot, just do with another artist. Share vision and ideas. Collaborate.

 

For this composition I decided to look back to a brief visit I had to the UK in the early summer. My mother is an amateur watercolorist and oil painter with a keen eye on composition. As we were standing outside her kitchen door enjoying the sunshine in a bright, cloudless sky she pointed over to her fence and the rambling rose that was overhanging it and suggested that I take a photograph because of the beautiful bright red petals. I thought the arch of the flower made an excellent frame for the chimney pot on the neighbor’s house.

A collaborative artistic effort.

160906_52wk33_collaboration

~Richard

52 Week Challenge: Week 32

WEEK 32: Landscape: Colorful – Shoot a landscape that packs as much color as you can find into the scene.

This was an interesting challenge. I haven’t had the chance to get out this weekend so I went through some of my recent images to see which would provide the most colorful compositions. In the end I have settled for this mixture of landscape and sort-of street scene that I took at the beach in Mahabalipuram, in Tamil Nadu Province, India a few months back. The beach activities don’t really start up until much later in the day but even so the place is full of bright color.

160905_52WK32_ColorfulLandscape

~Richard

52 Week Challenge: Week 31

WEEK 31: Portrait: Street Candid – Candids on the street, show us life in your town through the lens.

OK, it’s not my town, but it is my side of the country at least, and quite nearby. I took this on a recent trip to NYC. A particularly muscular looking chap was using the reflective properties of a storefront to help his extremely strenuous workout with a resistance band. How ironic that he was stood next to a parasol advertising 100% beef…

160904_52WK31_StreetNYC

~Richard

52 Week Challenge: WEEK 30

WEEK 30: Artistic: Patterns – Get inspired by the rhythm that patterns bring to your images.

I cannot believe I am back to playing catch up yet again for this challenge! I really haven’t been all that focused (pun intended!) with all the hectic activities of summer. This image does not so much show a repeating pattern but the “pattern” of chaos as the universe descends to entropy… 

160903_52WK30_Patterns.JPG

~Richard

Art Talk: The Modern Juggler

A few months back I had the opportunity to wander around Philadelphia with my camera after I dropped off my daughter for an art class. It was an overcast day but I wanted to stroll around center city and see if I could get any interesting shots of the architecture. It was only a couple of days ago that I went back over the images and recalled this excellent sculpture by Robert Taplin, The Young Punch Juggling, that sat atop a plinth above the entrance to the Philadelphia Academy of Arts. I was particularly taken by the piece because of its apparent simplicity of design, and the unusual items that Young Punch is keeping aloft. They are reminiscent of the pieces in the board game Monopoly, at least to my mind.
160902_Juggler
To me the piece represents how we have to juggle many things in order to make their way through the modern world, at least in the industrial west.  I don’t know how Mr. Taplin chose his objects but they seem to work. I’d be interested to see what others think, so please give me your opinion.

~Richard

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